“Look into the fire,” he said, and I did. “Now look deeper.”

I was drawn in, surrounded by heat and light, momentarily held. Parts of myself, my soul, my spirit, ignited and burned away, but I was not afraid. This moment was sacred, cleansing.

He pulled me from the flames and pronounced a new baptism. Billowing black smoke and sharp embers poured from my nose and mouth like a spirit being exorcised from my body. For a moment, my insides were an inferno. I fell.

Ecstasy turned into agony, but only briefly. The pain quickly subsided. I rose, cleansed and made new.